Hampton Roads Pride Fest Is Today

 

While the boyfriend and I are unfortunately out of town for a family event, I hope that local readers will make a point to go out to Hampton Roads' pride fest event in Norfolk's Town Point Park on the waterfront.  While we are out of town, the boyfriend and I were once again among the many financial sponsors of the event, with the big donors being Decorum Furniture and Svedka vodka at the Diamond Sponsor level.   The event begins at 12:00 Noon and runs through 6:00 PM.  There will be many vendors and entertainment to satisfy varied tastes.  A schedule of events and more information can be found here.  One event that is unique to our pride event is the boat parade - the only one in America.  This year the boat parade will be led by the American Rover pictured below.

Here's a view of the park eary this morning:

Other sponsors are as follows (please support their businesses0:

Gold Sponsors
Todd Rosenlieb and Ricardo Melendez
Jim Deming and Mark Board,
Lin Miller, Russell Allen
John Wills and Fred Bayersdorfer
Wendy Maness, Phil Copley. James Hermansen-Parker
The City of Norfolk.
Moira Wright
Silver Sponsors Mike Collins, Sandra Deane

Robert Woolfitt,

Darrell Hitchcock, 

Barry Menser & Michael Hamar
Mayor Paul D. Fraim

Bow Meow

 

Bronze Sponsors      

Randy DeMille, Sharon McDonald,

Dee Agonostini with Dragas Homes, Bill Calvert,

Charles Ford, Chris Hilliard,

The Space Above Yoga Studio,

James and Jamie Ferrell,

Danny Epperson, BeeDee McMillian,
Stacy Shaw and Emily Parker
Terry C Pearce & Susan E West

Rainbow Sponsors

Ralph and Pam Northam
Michele Finck,Alan Psimas,
Lisa Sands, Bee Dee McMillian,
Fred Hughes, Andrea McClellan

Julie Clark

 

Note that two local Mayors and the Democrat candidate for Lt. Governor personally helped sponsor the event.

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Is This Political Ad Too Gay For Virginia?

One thing that always pisses me off is the way the Christofacists believe they have free license to say whatever foul and horrible thing they want about gay citizens hiding behind the cloak of "deeply held religious belief."  Of course, most of what they say is a pack of outright lies and they seem to see themselves as exempt from the Commandment against lying and bearing false witness.  Somehow they only observe nine Commandments. Here in Virginia this year we have the most extreme and insane slate of GOP statewide candidates in Virginia's history.  While the most openly insane is Lt. Governor candidate "Bishop" E. W. Jackson, who n my view belongs in an insane asylum, gubernatorial candidate Ken Cuccinelli and Attorney General candidate Mark Obenshain share Jackson's views of gays - they are simply trying to hide their extremism from voters.  Above is a mock ad against Jackson that I would personally like to see aired in Virginia so as to put Jackson's hate and batshitery on the air waves.   A piece in The Advocate considers the ad and in the closing paragraphs sums up my views:

I work in the information business. I can't possibly agree with the notion that spreading the word about what homophobes say doesn't make a difference, that it doesn't help reduce homophobia in the long run. What I believe will happen (and has been happening) is that Americans are recoiling from the likes of E.W. Jackson and Michele Bachmann and Rick Santorum and the others.

Times have changed. Americans by and large are not asking us to hide anymore. But we can't expect them to stand up for us if we won't first stand up for ourselves.

Jackson may play well to the rural and less educated parts of Virginia, but many areas, including Hampton Roads and Northern Virginia will likely view him as frightening.  But only if his fully insanity is put on view.  The same goes for Ken Cuccinelli who hopefully will soon have to defend the Marshall-Newman Amendment as soon as the ACLU files its promised lawsuit.  Just last night the boyfriend and I had dinner at the James River Country Club - not exactly perceived as a bastion of liberalism - as guests of friends and not one person batted an eye seeing a gay couple there.  And they ALL know who we are due to the boyfriend's near celebrity status with the women.  We need to be open about who we are and we need to take the battle back against the hate merchants like Jackson, Cuccinelli and Obenshain.

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Ft. Lauderdale July 2013 - Day Two

Today was a great day even though it started out with me dealing with office e-mail and drafting documents for a couple of hours.  Kudos to my youngest daughter for holding down the fort at the law firm while we are out of town.   After lunch, we went out on our hosts' beautiful Intrepid 40' boat from which we flew the Hampton Yacht Club red and blue pennant (shown in the photo above).  Cruising around Lighthouse Point and parts of Pompano Beach, I was struck by (i) the wealth in this area and (ii) how much of a backwater Hampton Roads is in comparison.  The image below is looking down the creek from out hosts' dock, followed by a shot of one of the  boats we saw on our cruise. 

To thank our hosts for their hospitality, the boyfriend and I took them (and a friend who they are also hosting) to dinner at the Lauderdale Yacht Club in Ft. Lauderdale proper.  Through our Hampton Yacht Club membership, we have reciprocal benefits with yacht clubs around the country (and other parts of the world).   The dinner and the club facility were both amazing.  Thankfully, our guest membership is good through the day we head back to Virginia. :)  A photo of the club's pool and pavilion complex is set out below.

Tomorrow's plans include a visit to Sebastian Beach - the "gay beach" in Ft. Lauderdaler - followed by a get together with friends in Wilton Manor for drinks and dinner.  On Saturday, we will be throwing our traditional gay house dinner/party at our hosts' home.

Again, I hope local readers will drop me an email at michaelinnorfolk@gmail.com in the hope that we can perhaps meet for a drink or something.

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More Hampton Single Class Regatta Photos

The photos I posted from Saturday's Hampton Single Class sailing races were taken with my new smart phone which I am admittedly still learning to use after having a 7 year old Nokia that refused to die.    Some other members of the HYC Sonar crews with better photographic equipment and far superior skills took far better pictures, a few of which I wanted to share.  What follows is a selection of a few more of these photos:

Five of the six Sonar class boats owned by HYC

Another good shot of the Sonar class boats

The weather early in the day was less than pretty

Our wonderful sailing director who keeps us organized

Am I hooked on sail boat racing?  Most definitely.  The next step will be to get the boyfriend to help crew in future races.

I will admit that I was a little apprehensive when we first joined the Hampton Yacht Club, but now I have no regrets and I hope our membership (and that of a gay couple down the street from us) will inspire other local LGBT individuals to join.  Pushing the envelop if you will can be scary, but the rewards can be amazing.  And it is the best way to open hearts and minds.

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U.S. Senator Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska) Comes Out for Gay Marriage

A third Republican U.S. Senator has come out in support for gay marriage - Lisa Murkowski who beat back a GOP challenger and won reelection as an independent.  What tipped the balance for her?   Meeting and getting to know a same sex couple.  Her conversion to a supporter of marriage equality underscores the power of being out and living your life without apologies.  Murkowski talks about her new support for gay marriage in an op-ed entitled "The Pursuit of Happiness – Without Government Interference."  Here are some excerpts:

Not too long ago, I had the honor of nominating an Alaskan family as “Angels in Adoption,” a celebration of the selflessness shown by foster care families and those who adopt children.  They arrived in Washington, DC, a military family who had opened their doors to not one child but four siblings to make sure that these sisters and brother had the simplest gift you can give a child: a home together.  We had lunch together, and they shared their stories with me.  All the while, the children politely ate lunch and giggled as content youngsters do.  Given my daily hectic Senate schedule, it’s not often that I get to sit down with such a happy family during a workday – and I think of them often, as everything our nation should encourage.

I bring them up because the partners were two women who had first made the decision to open their home to provide foster care to the eldest child in 2007.  Years later – and after a deployment abroad with the Alaska National Guard for one of them – they embraced the joy and sacrifice of four adopted children living under the same roof, with smiles, laughter, movie nights, parent-teacher conferences and runny noses.

Yet despite signing up and volunteering to give themselves fully to these four adorable children, our government does not meet this family halfway and allow them to be legally recognized as spouses. After their years of sleepless nights, after-school pickups and birthday cakes, if one of them gets sick or injured and needs critical care, the other would not be allowed to visit them in the emergency room – and the children could possibly be taken away from the healthy partner.  They do not get considered for household health care benefit coverage like spouses nationwide.  This first-class Alaskan family still lives a second-class existence.

The Supreme Court is set to make a pair of decisions on the topic of marriage equality shortly, and the national conversation on this issue is picking back up. This is a significant moment for our nation when it comes to rethinking our society’s priorities and the role of government in Americans’ private lives and decisions, so I want to be absolutely clear with Alaskans. I am a life-long Republican because I believe in promoting freedom and limiting the reach of government.  When government does act, I believe it should encourage family values.  I support the right of all Americans to marry the person they love and choose because I believe doing so promotes both values:  it keeps politicians out of the most private and personal aspects of peoples’ lives – while also encouraging more families to form and more adults to make a lifetime commitment to one another.  While my support for same sex civil marriage is something I believe in, I am equally committed to guaranteeing that religious freedoms remain inviolate, so that churches and other religious institutions can continue to determine and practice their own definition of marriage.

This thinking is consistent with what I hear from more and more Alaskans especially our younger generations.  Like the majority of Alaskans, I supported a constitutional amendment in 1998 defining marriage as only between a man and a woman, but my thinking has evolved as America has witnessed a clear cultural shift.  Fifteen years after that vote, I find that when one looks closer at the issue, you quickly realize that same sex unions or civil marriages are consistent with the independent mindset of our state – and they deserve a hands-off approach from our federal policies.

First, this is a personal liberty issue and has to do with the most important personal decision that any human makes.  I believe that, as Americans, our freedoms come from God and not government, and include the rights enumerated in the Declaration of Independence:  life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. What could be more important to the pursuit of happiness than the right to choose your spouse without asking a Washington politician for permission?    If there is one belief that unifies most Alaskans – our true north – it is less government and more freedom.  We don’t want the government in our pockets or our bedrooms; we certainly don’t need it in our families.

Secondly, civil marriage also touches the foundation of our national culture: safe, healthy families and robust community life. In so many ways, sound families are the foundation of our society.  Any efforts or opportunity to expand the civil bonds and rights to anyone that wants to build a stable, happy household should be promoted.

I recently read an interview where Ronald Reagan’s daughter said that she believes he would have supported same-sex marriage, that he would think “What difference does it make to anybody else’s life? I also think because he wanted government out of peoples’ lives, he would not understand the intrusion of government banning such a thing. This is not what he would have thought government should be doing.”

Like Reagan, Alaskans believe that government works best when it gets out of the way.  Countless Alaskans and Americans want to give themselves to one another and create a home together.  I support marriage equality and support the government getting out of the way to let that happen.

Living out and not hiding your life can be frightening at times, but the rewards can be amazing and the impact one has in changing hearts and minds can be monumental.  The epiphany of Lisa Murkowski is but one example.  It is examples like this that re-enforce the boyfriend and my determination to never deny who we are or make apologies to anyone.

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Father's Day Reflections

I lost my father on September 26, 2006, and rarely a day goes by that I don't think of him.  He was a tough taskmaster for his children and expected us to excel in school- which we all did - and taught us how to do all sorts of things from roofing barns and the summer home to doing concrete work and simple plumbing tasks. 

Orphaned at age 3 and raised to age 16 in an orphanage that used the children do do all kinds of labor and tasks.   World War II started and he soon found himself in the Army Corps of Engineers as a First Lieutenant and crossed the English Channel the day after D-Day.  He was only 18 at the time (see image above).  He finished the War as Fire Marshall of Marseilles after seeing much of France and Paris during the last years of the War.  He used the GI bill to put himself through Syracuse University where he met my mother.  He went on to raise five children, put us all through school and remained there to support us as tough times and turbulence came along.  When I came out, he amazed many people by accepting me unquestioningly.  He wasn't an easy person to have as a dad at times, but especially in retrospect, his heart was always in the right place.  I miss him greatly and wish that he had lived long enough to meet my partner, Barry.

Today, I find myself the father of three and grandfather to one, with another grandchild due within the next two weeks or so.  Through my son-in-law, I also have a step-granddaughter (pictured holding my granddaughter).  We hear much from the Christofascists about gays being unfit parents and all sorts of horrible anti-gay propaganda.  Like most everything that comes from these hate-filled, unloving "godly Christians," none of it is true.  Like my dad, I may not have been the easiest dad to my kids, but I hope they know that my heart was always in the right place, even during the worse moments of my coming out transition and my very nasty divorce.

Yesterday we attended a cookout at the boyfriend's father's home that included my youngest daughter and her family and the pastor of my father-in-law's church.  My daughter and son-in-law gave us a wonderful card (it is addressed to both me and the boyfriend).  Here's a portion of the written note inside it:

"We don't know what we would have done/what we would do without you both.  We love you so much and Kyleah and Mia are so lucky to have you both in their lives."

We feel blessed to have them in our lives. These sweet girls will grow up knowing the truth about gays as opposed to the lies disseminated about us.

My message to readers who are struggling with coming out after marriage and children is to hang in there.  It does get better and time is on your side when it comes to your relationships with your children.  It's a message that my therapist tried to beat into my head and he was right.  Things may not move on the schedule we want - I am one for immediate gratification and low on patience - but despite the current darkness, a bright future is there ahead.  Live you life proudly and openly be true to who you are.  And always let your children know that you are there for them. Your children will eventually figure it out. 

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